The Evil Scientist Corner

Inspired by discussions with some very evil scientists indeed
during a condensed matter physics conference in Lunteren, the Netherlands.

To be pronounced in a drawl with a kind of mixed Russian/German accent.

Our work

Ve are doink vèèèry ynterestink expeerimentz: ve are studyink youraneeum compoundz uzing njutron deefraction messodz.

Ve are studyink ze creetical phenomena ov zhese compoundz, Har Har Har!

Ve are also performink avaradzje live tyme expeerimentz on our test subzjects... samples!

Rellevance to atmosferric science und geopheezics

Ve propoze an unconventzional solutsion to some geopheezical probljemz...

Ve can perform a slyght perturbation of ze system, Har Har Har!

Zhey are in princeeple sree-dimenzional probljemz. But ve can flatten zem to 2 dimenzions, yes!!

Rellevance to ze world's probljemz

Ve propoze a symple and elegant solutsion to zee heelium shortadzje probljem, Har Har Har !!!

Foundaytsionz ov quantuum pheezicz

Soon ve vill solfe zee old stending probljem of hydden variablz uzing a vell-knoun messod: eeliminazion ov ze unknounz! Har Har. ALL ze unknounz! Har Har Har !!

Ze locationz

Ve do our expeerimentz in emptee areas, ov course. You can wolk vor dayz wizhout meetink anyone.

Public oppeenion

Ve hev been accuzed zhat thouzands ov peeple may die if somethink goes wrong wiz our expeerimentz. But ve can assure you: if our expeerimentz go wrong, thouzands of peeple may survyve, HAR HAR HAR !!!

Njumerical work

In answer too deeriziv remarkz ov ozzer scyentists, zhat ve arr ferry backward and prymitive, ve have bought computerz to modernise our expeerimentz. Ve have wrytten a leetle programme zhat doez our njumerical work vor us:


Zis reesearch reely did put Hirosheema on ze map, Har Har Har !

Furzer modernizatsion

Ve vant fundink for zee installation ov a new 200 GigaTon ... GigaByte! hard dysk in our expeerimental setup.

Peer revyiew

Ve vere asked to referree some paperz by our esteemid colleagz.

Ozher ynterestink expeerimentz elsevhere

and zee rezultz zhereov...

[- Veery nice rezult indeed -]

Har Har Har !!

Ynterestink publicationz by ozhers

J.L. Sarrao et al., "Plutonium-based superconductivity with a transition temperature above 18K", Nature Vol. 420, November 2002, p297
Vell above 18K, HAR HAR HAR !

Fjuture work

Our next expeeriment vill take plase somevhere in New York. Yt iz goink to be called "ze Manhattan Prodzject", HAR HAR HAR !!!

Send sudzjestions to dr.Velenukovskii@ynterestink.expeeriments.har, leeder ov ze Manhattan Prodzject.
Back to ze misselaney or ze houm paydzje.