When I was born I received at least 2 wonderful gifts:
the gift of life, and sunshine in my heart.
Sometimes this sunshine had tough moments to shine through all the clouds.
My life has known many sad times,
as child, as teenager, as young adult, as adult.
As a child I was often lost in dreams;
a wonderful way to cope with sadness and sorrow.
A beautiful memory:
Memory.
Fractal illustrations and dear memories of childhood:
Olim, The Land of Lost Pearls.
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Art was my great love and I became an illustrator.
I married, became pregnant... and ill.
I gave birth to a beautiful healthy girl.
Soon after her birth the unknown illness paralized me.
Slowly I recovered, but I stayed an invalid.
Love for my husband, daughter, life, art,
my good mood and belief, gave me everything I needed.
... no carreer to give me bragging rights, but I don't care.
(only in Dutch text now: the story of my illness):
Verslag.
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My husband bought a computer in 1998.
It gave me the possibility to explore the world and of course...fractals.
Since then fractals became part of my life too.
I learned to express myself with fractals.
Summer 2004 I was diagnosed with breastcancer.
A year later I had metastasis all over my bones and liver.
Some thoughts I expressed with fractals and poems:
Poems / Thoughts.
These fractals and words are who I am now... how I feel, how I think.
Live has learned me an important lesson:
"simple" things are the most precious things.
Serious suicide thoughts, severe depressions, sad thoughts...
This luggage was to heavy to carry along, so I dropped it.
Yes, maybe it is easy for me to talk:
I was born with the sunshine in my heart :-).
A Night to Remember.
Magic in the Air.
I want to give credit to my Father for the way I am coping,
for my talents, for my happiness.
People often say I am strong... but I am not... :
I use the strenght of my Father.
No man can cure my illness,
but I am not afraid to die and not afraid to live.
My Father will be at my side, wherever I am :-)
I wish you Love, Light and Warmth.
Titia
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30 october 2007
Several people asked me how I am doing these days...
You all have been so nice to me, sending prayers and good thoughts.
I love you all !
At the beginning of 2006, I almost died.
One afternoon my husband left the hospital, thinking it would soon be over now.
When he came back in the evening, much of my pain had left, and I felt better !
The only thing that had happened was a prayer...
The medical photos showed the same results as before: cancer all over my bones and liver.
Nothing physical had been changed.
I am sure my Father had given me life again.
I still had chemo untill the end of the year.
At the beginning of 2007, the chemo stopped and I felt better and better.
...however, the medical photos weren't changed...
No, I am not cured, and of course, I don't feel good all the time: but my spirit feels wonderful :-)
I am very suprised I still live... and in this way...
A little while ago, I had some extra pain, and I asked the doctor for a physical exam.
The photos showed a slight decrease of the cancertumors in my liver,
but an increase in the bones of my shoulder. This was causing pain.
So, I had radiationtherapy and it helped :-)
My treatment is only palliative (relieving pain and other symptoms)
I don't fight the cancer... I never did. I use my energy to live.
Every day I live with my Father.
It is my belief He knows how to cure me, and one day He will.
Because of my belief I'm not afraid to die: in a way I am looking forward to it.
I know I have to die in order to live again.
Till then I love to be alive, here and now.
To be with my husband and daughter.
To be with my family and friends.
To be.
Love,
Titia