by Wim Bakker (unless stated otherwise)

Remote Sensing of the Earth = I see Strong Men of the Heart
-- anagram by Wim

Geoinformation = Monitoring a Foe -- anagram by Wim


Abbrev.: abbreviations.

  1. Scribbles like RS, GIS, MSS, TM, SAR, NOAA, Etc.
  2. Things to keep far away from, especially the ones that may enter bodily cavities.

Accuracy Assessment: the best (and last) reason for going on Fieldwork.

Active Censor: no images today.

Analysis: in some books written as 'anal-ysis', which sounds like an inflamation of some darker part of the body.
And indeed, a good analysis usually is a pain-in-the-ass!

Bi-directional Reflection: having second thoughts.

Brightness: perceived illumination, a measure for how smart other people think you are.

Cartography= Arc & Graph Toy (anagram)

Censer: a device that causes hazy images, which take you into high orbit.

Classification: to call a woman either a goddess or a doormat. -- free after Picasso

Color Coding: a secure method for making sure that the rest of the world can only see your images in black & white.

Computer: a patient machine that can wait at high speed.

Data Relay: When someone talks about Data Relay, he actually means Data Delay.

Digital Image: either you have it, or you don't.

Distant Learning: taking Remote Sensing classes.

Dye Sublimation Printer: a printer that dies sublimely.

Earth Observation:

  1. a child looking for pebbles.
  2. ymonortsA = like Astronomy, but then backwards.

EASTER: electronic sensor on board of EOS-AM1 (sometimes called Earth, or something).

Edge Detection: the sensation you get when hitting, e.g., the corner of the table.

Emission: electronic proclamation (of Remote Sensing).

Emotion: being moved electronically.

Environment: literally, the surroundings, which means everything except me.
(seriously, this misconception is probably the reason why protection of the environment fails, why would anyone try to protect anything that doesn't have anything to do with himself?)

Erector:

  1. the head of, for instance, EMIT.
  2. the head of a Distant Learning project.

Every: very electronic.

Eyes: electric confirmation, hence the expression 'my eyes', meaning 'Yes'.

Fieldwork:

  1. the opposite of Workstation.
  2. for collecting Ground Truth. Fieldwork usually makes people very dirty, but, strangely, very happy at the same time, too. Once infected by the Fieldwork Bug a person will always try to do more Fieldwork no matter how much work is still left to be done at the Workstation. See also Accuracy Assessment.

Field-of-regard (FOR): another term for ignoring the rest of the World.

Field-of-view (FOV): a measure of narrow-mindedness.

Geocentric: this is a mistake, it should be spelled as Egocentric.

Geometric: measurement of the Ego.

GIS:

  1. Great Inexpensive Software.
  2. derived from the Dutch verb 'gissen', meaning 'to guess'.

Ground Truth: the opposite of False Color Composite.

Hedge Detection: when you fail to take a bend in your new car. -- Paul Mather

Image Analysis: e.g. on a picture, to admire the way women are built. -- free after Kurt Vonnegut

Imaging Spectrometer: an instrument that yields hypertrophic data.

Interferometry: measurement of meddlesomeness.

Irradiance: irresistible beauty.

Model:

  1. a beautiful thing with no brains; nothing in the real world compares to it.
  2. highly abused term for trying to explain something that can not be explained by any existing theory. Usually models are just that, models. To a certain extend they can mimic complex reality, but never 'be' it, let alone explain it.

Non-linear Filter: that's what your smokes look like during fieldwork! Very hard to undo.

Passive Censor: a critic who isn't.

Pixel Displacement: euphemism for lost data.

Pixelation: that's what you get for trying to square the resolution.

Pushbroom, Whiskbroom: satellite cleaning devices for removing space-dust.

Rectify: short for 'to wrecktify', a severe form of Pixel Displacement.

Remote Sensing:

  1. literally: 'far away + understanding', in other words 'clueless'.
  2. the opposite of Empathy.
  3. being close to losing one's senses.
  4. the opposite of Common Sensing.
  5. anagram of "I see strong men"

Resolution: the intention to shoot a better picture next time.

Spectral Band: a colorful orchestra.

Statistics: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics." -- attributed to Benjamin Disraeli in Mark Twain Autobiography (1924) vol. 1, p. 246

Sun-synchronous Satellite: company on the beach.

Temporal Resolution: an intention that you know you're not going to undertake anyhow.

Wim's Law on Preservation of Misery: the Total Amount of Misery in a Closed System is a Constant.

  1. this means that misery can not be created sponteneaously, nor can it be destroyed. Misery can only be moved from one place (or moment) to another. In everyday life this means that if Something Good happens, something Equally Bad is going to happen (or already happening somewhere else).
  2. in Remote Sensing this law dictates that the Ideal Sensor does not exist. The characteristics of satellite images will always be a trade-off between the spatial, temporal, spectral, and radiometric resolutions. A sensor having at the same time a high-spatial, high-temporal, high-spectral, and high-radiometric resolution simply can not exist.
  3. also known as the Law of Compensation.